♥to a place of hope and no pain
blue skies and no rain...
twenty candles on the 24th August '10. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
i will always love you
xoxo


i fell in love with you...i fell straight to hell.




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at 10:45 AM

i tried so hard to forget you...but i couldn't.

last night i dreamt about you.
you were with me... i wish that i didn't have to wake up.
to wake up knowing that you are gone..hurts me so much.

why did our world even collide if we aren't meant to be.
why do this to me.


at 10:44 AM

first thing in the morning..
or last thing at night


I still miss you


I don’t know how to stop..


Chapter 2 at 5:51 PM

Chapter 2

1 Oct 2009 Thursday

reporting to work for the second time..i was expecting you to be there..and throughout my whole journey to Marina Bay i was looking forward to see you again...and i saw you!
you were standing right before me...i didn't dare to look at you..i looked emotionless but i was secretly smiling inside.

There is a function going on at the Marina Barrage...it was my first time there..and im happy that i went there with you..not exactly just you..but im still chirpy about it...
so as the group moved off to take the shuttle bus..i quietly followed behind...my eyes were only on you...then i noticed how skinny your arms were..and how gorgeous you were to me..i will never forget your back view.. but that was also the way you left me..and im trying to forget

as soon as we got there...we were assigned to wipe the goblets and cutlery's as it was a western dinner.As we were wiping the glasses..i find myself smiling to myself as i steal glimpse of you..i thought that was odd of me to smile like that...i haven been smiling like this for quite awhile..and i felt happy looking at you..

However,i purposely stayed away from you..because i don't want to be seen around you..im afraid..it will be too obvious...i stood far..but just enough to catch glimpses of you..and i was contented. Although at that time,you didn't notice me..and i bet you don't even know my name... you didn't even bother to talk to me...but i wasn't expecting much..as long as i can see you
i was quite disappointed when im not in your group...that means i could not work with you and could not see you...

Then, Dinner time came...and i was eating alone..you stood beside me...taking big gulps of water..
i don't know how to describe that feeling...but i felt like jumping out of my body..and tell the whole world how cute you looked.......

after dinner we got back to work..
From a distance..i saw that you were serious at work..you looked so cute when you are engross and serious at work.i kept stealing glimpses of you..and will be very happy when you walked pass... i like it when you walked pass around my area.. and secretly wished you came because you liked me too...and throughout the whole night...i was happy looking at you..and it went on and on.....
of course, i knew that you didn't liked me then...you never did anyways...but im happy that i got to know you..at that time,i think that is enough for me already.

Finally it was time to go home..and everyone was collecting their pay..i was flustered when i knew Daniel was coming to pick me up...i didn want you to know that i've a boyfriend...because then, you wouldn want to be my friend..i assumed that because every guys i ever wanted to get close to strayed away from me when they found out that im not single...they will have this barrier when talkin to me..and i don't wish to let that affect us...as a friend.
so when Daniel tried to hold my hand...i refuse to let him...i don't want you to see us........


chapter 1 at 2:58 PM

Hello Billy,

i couldn't stop thinking about us...
so i thought i blog the short-lived journey we had when it's still fresh in my head...
i don't wanna forget you...

Chapter 1

Before i met you..i was a normal girl leading the most ordinary life..
i thought i got everything i wanted and needed...and im happy with it.
i do not have much friends thanks to my foul temper..and i mean i drive them out of my life..
and all i got was Daniel
my then boyfriend that loved me for four years..we been through a lot..
but i never loved him.....it was too late to leave him when i realized how bad it was...
and because i felt guilty , i wanted to treat him better.

Some time around last year oct 2009...it was his birthday month.He was turning 21.
i wanted to make it a special one for him..and i can't do that without cash..
i was only experienced in F&B line...so, after much procrastination..i went ahead
and got hired!
that was when my life change...little did i know i was actually diggin my own grave...
diggin two holes...one for myself..and one..for my wronged innocent Daniel.

29 Sep 2009 Tuesday
the first time i set my eyes on you...my heart tingled..i knew you were special to me.
you were the only one that stands out amongst all...
you're the only one that is glowing..in my eyes.
and i thought to myself.."is this love at first sight?"
i quickly shaked off that thought with a sad expression
because my hands were tied.."my only reason to be here working is to make my boyfriend happy not get a new boyfriend"...i knew straight away..i can never be with you.